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Welcome to 5 O’Clock Somewhere, a new series in which our network of culinary all-stars share their favorite drinks—along with everything you need to serve them in style.
I know it’s not how everyone takes their martini, but when I drink one, I want it ice cold and very dirty. And while I’ll often order one at a bar or restaurant, I actually prefer the ones I make at home because, if I’m being honest, I want more olive brine than most bartenders will put in.
If you’ve ever made dirty martinis at home, you’ll know that a typical jar of olives only contains enough brine to make a few drinks, leaving you with a whole lot of brineless olives after the fact (plus no juice left for a second round). So when I heard about Quincy, a company making jars of olives with the perfect ratio of olives to brine for dirty martini purposes, I was immediately intrigued.
I picked up a jar in advance of my birthday party back in June and had an idea: Why not dump all of the brine in a pitcher and mix up a giant batch of martinis to serve my guests? Because as much as I love my friends (and this drink), I sure as hell was not signing myself up to make 10+ martinis to order. So a few hours before the party, I threw all of the ingredients into a large pitcher, stirred, and set the whole thing in the fridge to chill. When my friends arrived, I poured off freezing cold martinis and topped each with one of the olives I’d reserved—all without breaking a sweat, making a mess, or spilling olive juice on my festive outfit.
To determine my brine-to-spirit ratio, I kept things simple and used the recipe on the side of the Quincy jar as a guide, multiplying the single-serving amount of vodka by 14 (which is how many .75-ounce servings of olives and brine were purported to be in each jar). Per that recipe, I rinsed each glass with vermouth rather than adding it directly to the mixture, but to each their own. Because we’re going for something briny and olive-forward here, giving just a whisper of vermouth by rinsing the glass with it lets all that olive-y goodness come through. But martini ratios are highly personal, so play around with what tastes best to you.
Before you go off and start batching this weekend’s martini, here’s my biggest tip for successfully batching any shaken or stirred cocktail: add water. This isn’t a novel concept. When a cocktail is mixed with ice, some of that ice melts and dilutes the final drink—so if you’re planning on pouring your martinis straight from the pitcher to a glass, you’ll want to replicate that dilution. I add around 10 ounces of water for a 14-serving batch made with a whole jar of Quincy, making sure to taste and adjust before serving.
The Giant Dirty Martini (GDM?) has quickly become my go-to hosting hack. Doable in advance? Check. Crowd-pleasing and festive? Also check.
Ready to give it a try? Here’s my loose recipe, plus everything you’ll need.
Batched Dirty Martini
Adapted from Quincy
Ingredients:
- 1 jar Quincy olives (or 10.5 oz. olive brine plus 14 olives)
- 42 oz. vodka or gin
- Dry vermouth
- 10–12 oz. water
Preparation:
- Combine olive brine, vodka or gin, and water in a large pitcher, reserving the olives for serving. Mix and chill in the fridge or freezer until ready to serve.
- When ready to serve, splash some vermouth in each glass, swirl it around, and pour it out, leaving the glass coated. Divide the chilled martini between 14 glasses and garnish with an olive.
Note: Consider this recipe a starting point. Feel free to play around with the ratio of vodka/gin to brine to water, and/or to add some dry vermouth straight into the pitcher before chilling.
The gear you need
Quincy Olives
To make a big batch of dirty martinis, you’ll need a big batch of olive brine. These jars from Quincy contain just enough brine and olives to make 14 dirty martinis, so you can dump the whole jar’s worth of juice into your pitcher and set the olives aside until it’s time to serve.
Dry Vermouth and Vodka or Gin
I like my dirty martinis made with vodka because it’s a clean slate that lets the briney flavor shine through in a way that gin is not,, but you do you. Just make sure to buy at least 42 ounces of vodka or gin for a batch using the full jar of Quincy.
A stylish pitcher
Elevate the presentation of your batched dirty martinis by mixing them in a chic pitcher. I prefer to use plastic when I’m entertaining outdoors or expecting things to get rowdy, but I’ll go for glass if I’m hosting a chill indoor function.
A bar spoon
Sure, you could mix your cocktail with a wooden kitchen spoon—but an elegant bar spoon feels more party-worthy.
Glassware
Invest in a set of stemmed cocktail glasses so that your martinis look the part. I prefer coupes because I find I’m less likely to spill when drinking from them, but you can’t go wrong with a traditional martini glass either.
Cocktail picks
Don’t forget to complete each drink with a fun cocktail pick for skewering those olives.
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